what happened???

life

i can't believe what just happened.

do i have a choice?

avoid is a nothing word.

no one can avoid anything.

i have now

although i have resisted

tried a red bull.

it is such bull

but red and tasty.

shant have another.

hold back the night or just be here now

two weeks in london

see i never did blog while in london.
i've been back one week and still did not blog.
maybe i'm not a good blogger.
i wasn't born a blogger.
i won't die a blogger.

the trip was "work" to say the least.
who wants to read about that anyway.

two weeks in london

i am working on my mental packing.

two weeks in london

i will be in london for two weeks. i am going to challenge myself to update this page daily until i'm home again. it should be an adventure because it is so different from my regular life currently. i don't have a plan but i will be working and it seems at this point there will be some drama. i want to log how well i do at not letting the drama pull me in out of the present moment.

Any woman who is all woman, or any man who is all man, is a complete monster - unfit for human company.

Marguerite Smith Barton

recently watched

i have wasted some time on youtube. i confess that i have been drawn in to the video website. i knew it was coming but i wasn't prepared for the content. the site is designed well that makes it easy to watch. there are no blarring commercials, yet.

the sites before such as ifilm, did not draw me and it was hard to post. youtube makes it easy and "flickr like". there are so many people out in internetland linking to youtube videos, watching just grows on you like a virus.

so here and now, i begin a "easy to update" thread of recently watched youtube videos. maybe looking at a list will help me break free and work on my own content. i hope so. by the titles below, i wonder if deep down i miss tv?

teaching son how to masturbate
mad tv gay straight guys
in living color wanda massage

float on by the floaters

this is a song that i remember from my young blood record collecting days. i had this record and played it out because it was about 10 minutes long. a huge instrumental section and then the boys cut in with their "this is the kind of lady i like" solo. i remember the ladies really liked larry.

i knew who charles was and then well, who didn't. float on by the floaters.

i saw this today. i am supportive of the message.

so what is this about?

this is the transcript of a chat i had with this person from nigeria.
i was just going about my business, surfing the net, when this person "buzzes" me on yahoo instant messenger. it was my "1st time" being "buzzed" by someone i did not know. it turned into an interesting conversation.

i am push2read, btw (on yahoo if your wanna buzz me 2) and i do not have a wife of sorts, more of a life partner. we joined and let it be.

here is the transcript. check it out.

BUZZ!
push2read: yo
lindagiggs00: hiiiiiiiiiiiiii
lindagiggs00: care 4 a chat?
push2read: ok sure
lindagiggs00: name?
push2read: my name is hari
lindagiggs00: linda is my name
lindagiggs00: asl?
push2read: asl? what does that mean?
lindagiggs00: age
lindagiggs00: location
lindagiggs00: sex
lindagiggs00: ???
lindagiggs00: ?
lindagiggs00: >?
push2read: age location sex sounds good to me.
lindagiggs00: yes
lindagiggs00: asl?
push2read: age location sex. I wonder does that go good around here. we got laws in this county
lindagiggs00: whats law?
push2read: certain ages ain't supposed to have age location sex. i have it myself, but the younger ones is supposed to avoid having age location sex.
lindagiggs00: yes
lindagiggs00: marry?
lindagiggs00: kids?
lindagiggs00: am single and looking for a love
push2read: marrying kids is not my style
lindagiggs00: ok
lindagiggs00: coolllll
lindagiggs00: whata about ur wife?
push2read: what about her? she should be sleep at the moment.
lindagiggs00: ok
lindagiggs00: love her?
push2read: i love everybody
lindagiggs00: hw
lindagiggs00: thats is not possible
push2read: yes it is. most people are scared to just love everybody. if more people did there would be a lot less crime; a lot less murder.
lindagiggs00: yes
lindagiggs00: whats do u do 4 a living?
push2read: i don't know. I just take life one day at a time. I hope to one day not need much more than just that.
lindagiggs00: hw?
push2read: what is hw? sorry
lindagiggs00: how
lindagiggs00: i dont understand wht u mean
push2read: i'm sorry. i am not a rich man. i do not want to be a rich man.
lindagiggs00: why?
lindagiggs00: u need to have money
lindagiggs00: ok
lindagiggs00: ?
push2read: some money, yes, and then, a smart person decides a balance. our world today is caught up in always getting more. some, is not enough.
lindagiggs00: yes
lindagiggs00: u very intellingent
push2read: we all know this. we are just told to think in other ways.
lindagiggs00: coool
BUZZ!
lindagiggs00: there?
push2read: yes
lindagiggs00: i sell used cars in Texas b4 i move to Nigeria to see my sick mum but i will be bac very soon
push2read: I hope your mum is feeling better.
lindagiggs00: thanks
lindagiggs00: can e be friend?
push2read: let us be friends.
lindagiggs00: but am in Nigeria presently
lindagiggs00: whats do 4 a living
lindagiggs00: ?
push2read: i have friends all over the world.
lindagiggs00: wowwwwwwwww
lindagiggs00: thats is intrested
lindagiggs00: in Nigeria
lindagiggs00: ?
push2read: no. i was just kidding. i have very few friends.

a first sentence starts it all. it sparks a fire. does it not? to always begin with a first sentence is all life is about. did you see "the hours"? watch this.

nine and eleven $$/2001

npr posted this photo on their website today.
cnn re-played the moment by moment coverage on their website. i watched until the 2nd tower fell. i don't know why i remembered it was being done and loaded the site about 8:30 am.

we were at work that day so i did not get to watch it live on tv. greg did not want to watch it today but i was glued to it. i didn't want to get up to take a piss and miss anything.

there is a lot of $$ to be made on this past history event. there is so much impact by having it almost entirely filmed. i haven't seen any of the hollywood films that profit from it but our politics are shaped for quite a while.

hari-j by hari-g taken last sunday

hari-j by hari-g last sunday

workout update 08/31/06

i worked out at the gym today; 45 minutes. aerobics on the step, crunches on the ball, some yoga, and arm flex cruches with strap.

greg and i meditated for 15 minutes. not many thoughts. it was a very good practice session.

Baked chicken (free range), mashed potatoes, green peas, onion gravy and biscuit. Yum yum yum. It's what for dinner.

i used to be on welfare. does that make me any different?
depends
on your perspective.

i used to be on crack. does that make me any different?
depends
on your crack of choice. pipe, butt crack or jimmy crack corn

but i don't care

where
there
was
when
it was
there
where
you was
so
there

no war

hearing the wind over the radio
with news broadcasting from npr.
i went and got something to write on.

i thought you should know.
i wrote about you.

it was hot outside and i was sweating.
in the shower, i heard the wind over the water.
i better close the window before the rain.

i thought you should know.
i closed it for you.

home a little early you caught me as i dried my back.
your eyes said hello as you opened your arms to a naked fellow.
i said hello to you; all cooled down, fresh and mellow.

i thought you should know.
i loved it for you.

listening is a challenge today.

depress on what button???

i did not know that anyone could call it depression. just call it and be it.
and it is.
just that easy.

try it
really try it
to belive a thought.
at some point in time
that thought
will happen.

why?

push the button

on freedom of
mindless nothings of thought.

let go of a false identity
your mind has made.

what is happening right now
in your life?

right now

feets of spring

it's HOT; if I must say what so many are talking about. i am lucky to have air conditioning (new this year) and windows (new this year) that keep the cool in. they let the wonderful, but not warm, light in too. it helps to remind us to appreciate every moment.

this photo was taken this spring. the trees were budding and well...it was a sweet moment at penny's bend.

mm

i do wonder about their motives.

i came across this video on youtube that is interesting. the followers of this religion have a lot of hatred.

video

this is near my hometown. i had a chance to do something similiar when they protested here last year. i did nothing; no pictures or video. i could have done this. :)

a glass of red wine in the morning

by me

i had a glass
of red wine
this morning
even before
the sun came up

i craved it
no cheese
just a bottle
a glass
and glup

if you think
this is bad
oh well
you are locked
in time

i work nights
and truly
your idea
of mornining
is not mine

gaining focus

i was laying in bed awake thinking what is my focus. it was silly as my focus was me laying in bed awake. so i got up and started to do some of the thoughts i had. those things i could do, now. it was time to enjoy the fact i did not have to go to work; at least tonight.



i have a lot of photographs and video to review, edit and share. you know, those things that can only be done in the present moment.

it was good to get out of the thinker once again.

will i ever come back to this blogging thing?

I'm Coming Back

I am coming back to this page. In fact, I am going to give up hosting a webpage and just use this web tool. It is easier for me with my new job. It is what it is. Present and alive.

No posts since April 18th. Am I over blogging? Who knows. It is a chore especially with so many other things to do in life.

I took this silly web-based test that rates your answers and then gives a percentage of evil in your being.

Here are my results. My ego does not agree. (smile)

You Are 34% Evil

A bit of evil lurks in your heart, but you hide it well. In some ways, you are the most dangerous kind of evil.

How Evil Are You?

Sometimes you meet people you find share your interests.
We have something in common with everyone.
Does not every living being breathe?

The mind (the thinker) puts up barriers and suffering ensues.
Break free from the mind and see everyone as the Buddha.

I am the Buddha.
I am free for a moment.
Let me be from here.

---

A menshi mihas photograph has been posted on a spiritual friend's blog.
This is very nice of RedZen to post to his blog.
I am thankful to meet a beautiful spirit.

It's Spring and I know my blog will suffer. It is my trend to be outside as much as I can this time of year. The Winter season in front of a computer is over for a while.

meditation

meditation
Originally uploaded by menshi mihas.

just do it ok

trying to deal

1st time using this blogger mac widget.

I have just finished a new film editing project that uses samples. I think this is my best yet as far as overall message. I would love for this to be ok to share but I do not have rights to all of the images or any of the music. So by law you can only view the video in my home or yours.

Peace.

split

As soon as it begins, it is over.
No?
Then when?

Can you put your foot in your mouth without trying?

If you try to hang with the past or focus on the future, your life will pass you by.

Come to the present moment and live.

attachment

before the cops came
Originally uploaded by menshi mihas.

can i really practice all the time? can i practice and not become attached to it? good questions.

if there are some areas to find answers other than yourself, how can life survive on its own?

i can accept that people believe that they are saved. it is hard to accept they believe others are not saved and somewhat less than.

without the dreads of judgement, i think the attachment to a hope of glory keeps them happy and safe, just a bit removed from the present moment.

hand shake

hand shake
Originally uploaded by menshi mihas.

Standing up to your first impressions can be tough. Many times I have considered alternative ways to handle a situation. After a first initial idea I may choose to act on the alternative thoughts. Later I find that the first idea was the best. This is also known as second guessing.

If you can let go of the cycle of second guessing, you have traveled far down the path of mental peace.

granddaddy wrinkles

granddaddy wrinkles
Originally uploaded by menshi mihas.

I have wrinkles on my forehead just like my granddaddy joe.

drought

wade in little river
Originally uploaded by menshi mihas.

This is the little river near my home. The water should be at my waist at the time this photo was taken.

I was wondering if it would dry up. The drought is amazing because the consuption of water by citizens continues and I wonder where the water comes from.

At the river this day was a special time because the water was so clear and peaceful.

It was a perfect.

bath

i practice meditation during a bath. the way the soap smells and feels is something that goes back to the beginning of time.

a cause of suffering

Desire is a cause of suffering. Some would say it is the cause of suffering. Is the desire to end your suffering, suffering? I know this to be true.

Accept what is and be free.

Do not eat at fast food restaurants and do some situps.

standing your ground

Can you be compassionate and stand your ground? Can you stand for peace and own weapons of mass destruction? Can you own your body? Can you own your mind?

anxiety

To reach calmness during anxiety can be done in simple ways. If I acknowledge that I am anxious, I can forget it with a held breath.

To sweat is a natural function and I sweat a lot.

I used to sweat from anxiety but today less of that and more due to regular exercise.

Happy New Year

No need for a resolution to lose weight this year.

How about:
Yoga practice
Meditation practice
Spend more time in the woods
and
Sex

It's a good thing!